Sunday, July 10, 2011

Case of the Missing Balls

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Why do men find women that are good with cars sexy? It's because it's RARE!!! I don't care how many women like to drive fancy cars, pose next to cars, go to car shows, ETC... Most women don't want to get under a car and get oily, dirty, or the like...




ESPECIALLY... 


Especially not Stiletto Suzy. Well Stiletto Suzy is not her real name. The name has been changed to protect the identity of... Well me. Guess the cat's out the bag.






Call me prissy if you want but I'm not about that getting dirty life. 
I'll prolly be the token trophy housewife
I'll get on my hands and knees and scrub a kitchen floor 
but count me out when it comes to outdoors









So... IMAGINE my shock and chagrin when my mechanic told me that the only thing keeping me from driving my car last week was that I needed to drain my oil...

Here's the story...

I've had an oil leak for a while, and sometimes I forget to check on it... Well the day that everything hit the fan I had a nice little gut feeling that I should check my oil...


***REENACTMENT***
Did you check your oil today?

And I thought to check it...

... but I forgot.










So... as I was driving home from work that night at midnite on the highway my car started ACTING A BUTT!!!! All I could do was smack myself because I knew my oil leak had come back to haunt me. I prayed

Oh Lord just let me make it HOME!!!!

And I did just that. Car cut off as soon as I got home. Woke up the next morning walked to Advance Auto Parts (Which is only like 1.5 minutes walking distance from my house) Bought oil and filled 'er up... Thought I did good for myself. Started her up; she sounded good.

Got ready for work and you would think my baby was a chain smoker!! OH MY GOSH!!!! The smoke that poured out of my exhaust pipe you'll only find in a club. I called my mechanic.

Don't drive it!!!
So I didn't. He came to check it only to tell me that I had put too much oil in my car and that is just as bad as not having enough.

... FAST FORWARD TO TODAY 

Well I went for two weeks without a car so needless to say I was anxious to get her fixed. Got an oil change friday (also learned to change my oil... Stiletto Suzy can't be stranded JUST cuz she too cute to get a little dirty) and changed my spark plugs and wires. Driving was GRAVY... But my car was smoking a little on my way home from getting it fix. Mechanic thinks prolly the excess oil needs to burn off... But for S & G I decided to go ahead and check my oil

WTH

I have no oil. I JUST got an oil change friday. I watched the person change and fill up my oil. So I buy oil and put some in there... Car is now smoking like Mother Freakin CRAZY!!! I didn't think I put too much... Oh But I did... I most certainly did. How did I make that mistake again? I really think it's because I'm a girl, and a prissy one at that. And girls are just not good with cars... Damned Ball Deficiency...

Well actually it's because I'm a car-uneducated girl. I found out on the internet that it's best to check the oil when the car has just stopped running for an accurate read. After I put the oil it didn't look like I put to much but after I drove to work and checked the oil again... ONCE AGAIN... I was over the top... Sad day in my world. My mechanic is gana get on my case.. OH WELL... at least I know now. And since I went thru the horrific experience last week of not being able to drive because I couldn't drain my oil I learned how. So I will pray I make it home without blowing up my engine and drain some of that oil tomorrow morning (that is if it hasn't leaked out by then).

 Don't get it twisted, I'm still me. It will NEVER be my first or second choice to get under my car or touch anything grimy. BUT I'm a single woman and I never need to be in the predicament that I can't take care of myself because I need a man to fix it all for me. If he's around TRUST... I will expect him to do it... But to be stranded because I can't... not an option. So now that I know how to change a tire, change my oil, change my spark plugs and wires, I may as well learn everything there is about fixing a car. WON'T do it because I'm prissy... I can live with that. CAN'T do it because I'm a girl..

PLEASE!!! Won't be happening.

~M~


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